Dog Farts

I have had three days off in a row, and I can't say I spent any of them with any purpose. I would like to tell you that I made a "totes adorbs" retro apron. Or perhaps had tea with a supermodel friend in thrifted teacups. Or tromped through the woods with my vintage camera. But THIS is what I really did.

Something about the obvious green screen and terrible costume design just keeps you coming back for more. If it weren't for my fake cousin's post-wedding reception I am attending I would never have escaped.

So here it is, 5pm and I am pretty much JUST starting my day. Took a shower and getting ready. And my whole house smells like DOG FARTS.

The Anti-Blog Blog

I have no idea what I'm doing. I work at a grocery store, and full-time blogging seems ridiculous to me. Probably just because I am jealous that I can't be pretend employed too. 

I woke up so hopeful and full of possibilities.

It was very disappointing. If instagram taught me anything, it was that all you need is a cute coffee mug full of caffeine to be a successful blogger. BUT IT WASN'T WORKING.

By this point, I was really losing my fucking mind. I had watched a million useless youtube videos. Read and reread photoshop help queries (should be called 'Photoshop DUMB BUTT') and none of them made sense. I was starting to feel like the computer was taunting me. It knew I was weak and weary. 

I was losing faith in myself...

But then I said "NO! YOU AREN'T SMARTER THAN ME COMPUTER!" But it was. 

I couldn't let this thing belittle me any longer. I had been sitting at the computer for HOURS. My back hurt, I was cooking up an odor from sitting in one place all day and not showering, and there was a film growing on my teeth from not brushing. I had given this shitty blog my life (or my whole day). And then finally...